Understanding what socializing is and how to use it to enhance the life that you have with your dog can make your dog’s world larger, and yours, too.
Dogs are social animals just as humans are: it’s part of why we love each other as a species, and part of our ancient bond! And many of the dreams we have for our lives with our dogs depend on and include socialization.
What is socialization?
At its most basic, socialization is dog (or puppy) meets world. When we introduce our puppy to places, things, people, animals, surfaces, activities, handling or grooming or anything else that is outside him, we are socializing our dogs and socializing with our dogs. So socializing is living together, being together, and doing together. And when we say socialization, we mean thoughtful, careful socialization, that makes sure that the situations, people, animals, places and things that we ask our dogs to be with are physically and emotionally safe for them. That means introducing them carefully, and teaching the skills needed to enjoy these situations. Whether that’s hanging out in a cafe, or sitting together on the balcony watching the world go by, proper socialization ensures that a dog’s skills and abilities match the demands of the situation in question. In other words, when you are socializing your dog, you are their advocate and their guide, responding to their physical and emotional needs as you help them grow their world.
Is it just for puppies?
You’ve probably heard of socializing a puppy, you may even have heard of a socialization period in puppies. This is a developmental period (usually from 3 weeks to around 16 weeks for most puppies) where puppies are learning all about their brand new world: what’s safe, what’s scary; what’s fun, what's good. Puppies, like all baby mammals including human babies, are adaptable, sensitive beings, who come into this world primed and ready to learn about their specific environment. Just like human babies, those early life experiences and lessons shape the adult that puppy (or baby) will become: happy, confident, cautious, exuberant, subdued, optimistic, fearful, anxious… we could go on and on. Because the experiences a puppy has in his first 16 weeks of life are so crucial to shaping who he will be, we name that whole developmental period after that contact with the world!
But socialization doesn’t end there! Adolescents and adult dogs need socialization too. Remember, socializing a dog is guiding them through our world, keeping them safe, building their skills and comfort, and including them in activities when and if they are happy and well equipped to be there. Every dog will have different needs and preferences, and those needs and preferences will change throughout his life.
The dog’s experience of the world
When we guide our dogs through our human world, we have a major advantage, we have experience of it and know what many things are and what they mean. Our dogs are not born with this knowledge, and many seemingly ordinary things may seem especially overwhelming to them. Part of that has to do with the sensory differences between our species.
Dogs have exquisite senses and awareness of smells and sounds, and to the body language of the beings in their world (including humans). A dog with intact senses of hearing and smell likely experiences a busy city street entirely differently than a human with those same senses. Imagine the scents of car exhaust, food, other animals, clothing materials, humans, warm asphalt or salt of the road, all mixing together. The olfactory version of walking through Times Square in New York, with neon lights flashing and sparkling from all directions, all at once. Imagine seeing strange people, bicycles, strollers, scooters, etc. towering over you, moving in all directions, while you are unable to move freely because you are on a leash. And think of all the sounds of the street played back through a megaphone: horns, squeaky wheels on bikes, children’s squeals, beeping crosswalks, and many many others coming from all directions. Now imagine, just as you are trying to get your bearings in this strange and chaotic world, a stranger twice your size spots you, runs over, and puts his hands on your face before you can even register what’s going on.
Sounds exhausting, right? Being social and environmentally attuned is beautiful, but it also means being socially sensitive. Dogs notice a lot, process a lot, and learn a lot about what’s safe, what's fun, what’s worth engaging and what’s worth avoiding from how and when they meet these things. Seeing the world from the dog’s point of view can help us understand what socializing is joyful and what’s just too much. What’s amazing about dogs is that many (but not all) dogs can learn to enjoy these chaotic human environments, with careful socialization and with a trusting bond with you, their guide and advocate in this human world.
This is the meaning of socialization. As our dogs’ guardians, we can bring harmony into our dog’s lives by intentionally planning exposure to places, people, animals and things, always keeping their experience in mind.
Signs of a socialization deficit
Dogs that lunge and bark at every dog that passes by often aren’t doing that because they lack loose leash-walking skills (though they may need to learn those, too!), they are doing it because of their socialization experiences, their learning history with other dogs is lacking the easy, confident exposure history that would allow passing at close proximity to be no big deal. Dogs that immediately respond to their name in the living room but hardly flick an ear when out in the park don't necessarily need more name drilling practice (though, again, more practice eventually might be in order). They often are showing us that they lack the easy confident exposure history that would allow them to exist in the park without feeling overwhelmed, and that would allow them to focus as they can in more familiar environments.
Training is great, but often what we mean when we say our dog “needs training” is actually better socialization. This is why socialization is a key piece of the Harmony Model, and something always to consider when designing a plan for your best life with your dog.
Socializing is, or should be, ease-y
The goal of socializing is both enjoying sharing our world with our dogs today, and ensuring that today’s experiences build a more confident relationship with that world tomorrow. The goal of socialization is ease. Ease for our dog as they navigate the experiences of their life with us, from a walk in the neighborhood to an appointment with the groomer, to a vet visit, to a hike with friends. And ease for us, as we enjoy and experience the world together with a dog to whom we have taught the prerequisite skills and positive associations with people, places, and things that we plan to enjoy together. Ease-y socialization means finding the level at which you can fold new things into your dog’s life (or the old things that are still worrisome in some way) without forcing interaction. Ease-y socialization, you might have gathered, often involves just being near new people without directly interacting with them, just seeing and smelling a new dog without having to meet. It might mean sitting in your driveway together to listen to the sights and sounds of your neighborhood before attempting walks, or it might mean visiting the groomer without getting groomed just to experience the space.
If our dogs are just barely coping, if they come home from socialization experiences exhausted, overwhelmed, or having “white-knuckled” through them, we’ve lost the ease we were trying to build. And one thing dog trainers know that many guardians do not is that smaller ease-ier exposures to new things actually is more effective and faster at producing ease-y feelings in less careful scenarios later. Start small, far away, and brief if you’re looking for the fastest way to teach your dog to feel safe and ease-y around those things later. If you want your puppy or dog to be comfortable around children for her whole life, for example, take her to a nice safe place far outside a playground, where she can hear, see, and smell those children without yet having to navigate being touched by them. Don’t throw her in the middle of it! It can be hard to dial back exposure, but if you’re going for comfort, ease, and a dog who can share your world with you, it starts with finding a level of exposure that produces ease in your dog and puppy.
By planning well, we help our dogs form neutral or positive associations with everyday life. And in order to exist harmoniously, these associations are fundamental. That’s because how we feel about a place or thing is a powerful driver of what we do when faced with it. So, no, socialization isn’t always easy, it takes thought and attention, empathy with our dogs’ unique experiences in the world, and the ability and willingness to adjust our plans in the moment. But good socialization is always ease-y: it always involves pairing the experience with a feeling of ease, of comfort and maybe even with joy and fun.
Socialization is lifelong
As you can see, when we think of socializing as the result of socialization and not the process of getting there, we are much better equipped to introduce our dog to our world and our world to our dog. Socialization is of fundamental importance for puppies, and those early experiences often have big impacts on how your dog will feel and react to elements in your shared environment. But it doesn’t end with puppyhood.
Throughout our lives with our dogs, we share the world with them, doing it wisely is also socialization. It can be as simple as sitting looking out the window with your dog, having a play session next to a dog park, or passing another dog when on a walk. It means finding the things both of you enjoy, and building mutual ease into your shared adventures, big and small.
Socialization builds joy, with and for our dogs
Socialized dogs are comfortable and confident in our world. They are ready to develop new skills and take on new adventures. And in order to train around a person, place, animal, or new thing, socialization must happen first. Socialization is the secret sauce that lets you train in your living room and have your dog happily cooperate in the cafe, that allows you to meet your dog's grooming and veterinary needs without causing fear or distress, and that lets you take a ride together in the car to explore new destinations. It is a powerful element in the Harmony Model.
